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We’re not all in it for the same reasons and as we don’t live in an ideal world, people are 1) not always honest about their reasons or 2) overestimate their interest. Some of you, are meeting someone and thinking ‘Oh please let this be it because I really fancy the arse off them’ and then putting on a blindfold, tying your arms and legs together and diving in. As everyone is not honest about their reasons, you can only discover what someone’s true intentions are by spending time around them with your eyes and ears 100% open and not letting your vagina or penis or your overactive imagination make your judgements for you. Not every person can be ‘it’ – if you’re more eager to be off the market than you are to meet a quality partner, you will project a relationship and just keep trying to slot candidates into the hole in your relationship picture, instead of meeting someone, seeing how it goes, and letting the relationship picture evolve from there. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.